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Chi, a 23-year-old lesbian, told researchers that her parents locked her in a virtual prison after learning of her relationships with other women. “It was such a horrifying time. My parents knew Diep and I loved each other. They seized my cell phone, cut the home phone line and locked me in our house... They always went through my pockets to see if Diep had sent something to me. They even beat and insulted me,” she told researchers from the Institute for Study of Society, the Economy and the Environment (ISEE).

“Several months ago when I was dating Thuy, my mother attempted to commit suicide by jumping into West Lake. Later, they forced me to make a choice between being a normal girl and ending relations with them.” Chi’s story is not uncommon. Last month, the ISEE released a report which described a vicious cycle of social discrimination that tore apart numerous Hanoi families.

Nguyen Thi Thu Nam, a PhD candidate and one of four sociologists who authored the survey, said she hoped their findings would facilitate a positive change. “There have been many articles featuring homosexuals in the media but they hardly cover the entire homosexual community – specifically the lesbian community,”

In the study, 40 lesbians and female bisexuals filled out questionnaires, sat for interviews and continued to be monitored by ISEE researchers over a nine-month period starting March 2009. In some cases, friends and family were also interviewed. All of the names were changed to protect the identities of those interviewed.

Nam said that her team’s findings represent the first institutional study on the subject in Vietnam. Nam said many of the study’s subjects described a vicious cycle of discrimination. Gay children suffered emotional persecution from parents who were themselves the victims of community prejudice.

Dr. Donn Colby is the in-country Medical Director of the Harvard Medical School AIDS Initiative in Vietnam (HAIVN). He has been doing research on male homosexual populations in the country for the past eight years. “Most families would not accept a homosexual member in their families,” Dr. Colby. “They would do whatever they could to change their child’s sexuality

Dr. Colby said that very little research in Vietnam had been conducted on sexuality (in any form) prior to the eruption of the AIDS epidemic. “The HIV epidemic created an impetus for research about sexuality in general,” he said. “As it became more acceptable to do research on sexuality it became more acceptable to do research on male homosexuals. Female homosexuals don’t really have any public health problems related to their sexuality.” Dr. Colby said he had not encountered any research on Vietnamese lesbian populations thus far. Even from a clinical perspective, they have been largely ignored.

Hidden and alone

Many of the women interviewed said that they grew up fearing that their parents would discover their secret. At the same time, most of the candidates expressed a yearning to be accepted and acknowledged.

Lucy, 21, is a university sophomore with good grades and an active student life. She is loved by her friends and family. Regardless, Lucy feels she must conceal her homosexuality from everyone, including her parents, for fear of being ostracized.

“I used to think about telling [the truth to my parents]. But I changed my mind after thinking twice to protect my love,” she was quoted, by the researchers, as saying. “If I spoke out, my parents would prevent us from meeting each other.”

Lucy was also afraid that telling the truth would hurt her parents. “My parents would be very sad to know that they raised such a child,” she said. “I would cave in if they threatened suicide to force me to stop being like this.” A 29-year-old lesbian referred to as Lien Anh expressed the same concerns. “One hundred percent of families wouldn’t want their child living an odd life,” she is quoted as saying in the report.

The researchers also found that the social isolation felt by these closeted lesbians can become excruciating when their secretive relationships deteriorate. “I feel like I am living alone in this world. There is no one else besides me and my love,” said 23-year-old Ngoc Anh, a female homosexual. “When our relationship ended, I lost several kilograms from skipping meals but my parents didn’t know about that.” Back to News Main Page

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